I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
