my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
