Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
