Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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