Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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