So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
