accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
