Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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