I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
