Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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