Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
