Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
