I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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