turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
