For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
