those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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