I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
