this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
