No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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