Kiss
Puke
"it" just moved
I didn't shave. On purpose
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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