Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize