I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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