That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
