I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
