what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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