i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
