chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize