PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
