im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize