Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
