You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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