Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we made out on top of his cat.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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