Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
