is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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