Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
