Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
