I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
