quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
