is wine microwaveable?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
