Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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