Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
