puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
