mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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