Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
