why didn't you poke me back
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
