You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
