i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
