Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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