im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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