apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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