Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
