Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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