see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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