i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
ttyl tear gas
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
