how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
