Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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