so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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