There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
