she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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