So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
