the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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