is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
