He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
